Inner Conflict and what to do with my life!

November 6, 2011

SO MUCH INNER CONFLICT! It’s about that time of DTS where everyone is wondering what’s going to happen post-DTS. Scary thought, I must admit. There are so many options. After you join YWAM (which after you’re done reading all my blogs and hear me rave about it, I’m sure you’ll at least WANT tooJ), your life options expand to basically the entire globe. There are secondary schools like the School of Dance Studies, School of Worship, School of Evangelism, and School of Missions…literally endless possibilities. But, there’s also the option of going back to school which seems SO appealing to me right now.

Do you understand my conflict?! I’m pretty sure that God’s giving me the option, but I also would just like it if He would tell me what He wants me to do. I would really like to go to school at Gordon College in Wenham, MA. However, I’m pretty sure that’s just my own selfish desire. I’ve been pretty homesick lately. I don’t know what it is. I’ve never been away from home this long. And I actually miss America. I think the fact that Australia is similar but not entirely the same makes it really hard to be here. However, I’m learning SO MUCH. Much more than I would or could learn doing anything else.

I don’t feel at peace about going back to school…but I just am maybe too wrapped up in the image of the “American Dream” and living the status quo.

Lord, grant me the serenity to get through the season in Jesus name.

Song of the week: “In Me” by Casting Crowns

If you asked me to leap, out of my boat into crashing wave,

If you asked me to go preach to a lost world that Jesus saves,

I’ll go, but I cannot go alone,

Cause I know I’m nothing on my own

But the power of Christ in me makes me strong

Makes me strong

When I’m weak, you make me strong

When I’m blind, you shine the light on me

Cause I’ll never get by, living on my own ability

How refreshing to know you don’t need me

How amazing to find that you want me

So I’ll stand on your truth and fight with your strength

Till you bring the victory

By the power of Christ in me

If you asked me to run, and carry your light into foreign land

If you asked me to fight, deliver your people from Satan’s hand,

I’ll go, but I cannot go alone

Cause I know I’m nothing on my own,

But the power of Christ in me makes me strong

Makes me strong

When I’m weak, you make me strong

When I’m blind, you shine the light on me

Cause I’ll never get by, living on my own ability

How refreshing to know you don’t need me

How amazing to find that you want me

So I’ll stand on your truth and fight with your strength

Till you bring the victory

By the power of Christ in me

To reach out with your hands

To look through your eyes

To love with the love of a Savior

To feel with your heart and to think with your mind

I’d give my last breath for your glory

When I’m weak, you make me strong

When I’m blind you shine your light on me,

Cause I’ll never get by living by my own ability

When I’m weak, you make me strong

When I’m blind, you shine the light on me

Cause I’ll never get by, living on my own ability

How refreshing to know you don’t need me

How amazing to find that you want me

So I’ll stand on your truth and fight with your strength

Till you bring the victory

By the power of Christ in me

The power of Christ in me,

The power of Christ in me.