Thursday, December 15, 2011

Day Dreams of America


November 28, 2011

I’m ready to come home. I’m having day dreams and night dreams about coming home. I just miss everyone so much. I miss being in America and the comfort that that alone brings. I miss being able to drive and just escape. I miss the cold and I miss the magic of snow. I miss having money—even though Jesus has been blessing me beyond my wildest dreams.

I miss the simplicity of life in Oregon and Washington. I miss rock climbing and camping and really just being outside and I miss the fellowship that went with it.

I’m having such mixed feelings right now because I’m so excited that we’re nearly halfway done, but I’m also sad in that we don’t have much time together and this chapter of my life is about to end as soon as it started—that’s crazy to me.

I never thought this would happen. I honestly thought I’d leave and never go back to America—but now that’s my heart’s desire and I don’t know why that’s not okay in my brain. I don’t know why it feels like going back to America is somehow “copping out.”

I think it might just be a large bout of homesickness. I’ve been able to be on Facebook more this week which keeps me more home instead of here. And with it being Thanksgiving…my first holiday away from home. That was really hard. But God’s bringing me closer to His heart with each painful step I take. I’ll get through this and in a couple weeks I’ll look back on how silly it is for me to even think about all of this. Oy.

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